good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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