i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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