All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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