Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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