There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
