its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
