I'm really into asian looking animals
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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