one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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