I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
