So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
