Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
