shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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