he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
