You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
did i walk over a car last night?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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