A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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