The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
