its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
