Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
