If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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