I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
