after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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