how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
