Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
