If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
