Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
