You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
