it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
