why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
