chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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