i think my mom watched the whole time
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
