What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
