i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
