how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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