The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
