Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize