I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
