I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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