we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
