i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
