apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
