So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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