I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
