So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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