Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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