You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Welp...herpes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
