Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
