THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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