She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
