so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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