you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
