I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
