i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
