haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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