Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
