Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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