tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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