and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Michael Bay diarrhea
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
