Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
