just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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